Well, I guess that depends on one's perspective. Like everything else, it is not so much a matter of what is "happening" to us. Rather it is how we respond to "what is happening."
As I was watering my plants on my balcony this morning, I found myself thinking:
Look at how some of these plants are growing. Lately they seem to be doing better than usual. Perhaps it is because I do not feel "rushed" as I water them and prune them (clear out dead leaves etc) as I may have been doing (albeit without awareness") in the past. Not that I have an extremely busy life now - being "semi-retired" and all. However, pre MCO (movement control order) days - there were appointments and responsibilities to fulfill each day. While there are still some of these the "not having to go out" does afford one a little bit more "leisure" time - to go a bit slower not needing to account for travel time, energy to unwind once back home, or to re-build the momentum started earlier with one's particular activity or project.
From the thought of - look at how well these are growing, my mind wandered to the next thought which was: will I live to see them reach their potential? Will they out live me? Before you guess these thoughts lead to a sense of morose - let me just say they didn't. Or at least they did not seem that way to me.
In the midst of that thinking - I began noticing my thoughts: what I am thinking or, where they were leading me, if there is a purpose to the thinking, what use is there - if any - for these thoughts?
This, I believe is the beginning process of the mind becoming awaken or aware. The being in the NOW. The becoming the observer rather than the thought. Being both observer and observed. Not one or the other - but both. A sort of "detachment" if you will. (Some might start to describe this as a "dissociation" - tho I'd like to think this is not necessarily a bad or negative thing.)
So, I start to notice - hey, what's the purpose of this thinking? Is it something beneficial to you? Is this all just a waste of time - as in you can be doing so much more instead of wasting time (1) thinking these things and (2) watering plants and trimming them etc. Aren't there books you want to write? Projects you want to complete? Programs you want to design?
As often the case - a dialogue takes shape in my mind. And those questions receive a respond that goes something like the following:
Well, doing what I am doing gives me a sense of purpose - a sense of pleasure even. I take joy in seeing the plants grow. Keeping the mini balcony garden look neat. Bringing to the earth - new life. Contributing in some sense to mother earth. More greens, more oxygen, and in the process maybe even some food (physical nourishment) that will come from some of the produce. And if they out live me - so what? The purpose of growing them, while may partly be that they contribute to my "tomorrow" - that is NOT the sole purpose. It is not in the "end result" but the process or "journey" that one finds joy, meaning, and fulfillment.
We are all living in this moment in time. Thinking of yesterday only may bring about sense of regret and sadness (of what once used to be, of the things not done or done but regretted, and so on). Living entirely with the focus on tomorrow (what to do, what will happen etc) may lead to a sense of anxiety. So, just take pleasure in the moment - the NOW. For that is all we truly have. Tomorrow, this will be the past - and that moment (tomorrow) will be our NOW. Every moment in time - this is true. As soon as the word has been written or spoken, the action taken - it has become the past. Every NOW is filled with potential - to do anything possible right in front of you. Every step is fulfillment of that potential. Every thought and action is in the mechanics of creation.
This dialogue then led me to thinking - I should finish up here and go write this down. It is an "opening" for me. A lesson learnt. Tho it may not seem to be of any "great" relevance to another - but it is to me. And that is good enough.
Almost immediately this is followed up with a "oh don't bother. You won't write (type) this out. It will just use up more time. What's the purpose anyway? You think anyone cares to read it? ... etc."
I wasn't quite sure I would eventually write these thoughts down. I will have to finish up what I am doing. Go downstairs to my "workspace," boot up the computer, open the page and start typing. And what will I write? How do I start? What do I title it. No idea.
But I did finish up. I came down. Started of the notebook etc - and here I am writing. Being in the NOW. Doing what I want to do. Responding to the gentle urge prompting from within.
Are the meandering or wandering thoughts earlier, useless? I would wager - they are not. If the thoughts lead to simply worrying, feeling anxious, regretting, and worse hating oneself - perhaps. But if the thoughts led to some insight, to actions that go towards one's well-being - then they were there for a purpose. A function. And a good one at that. If they led to a sense of greater understanding of self, an awareness, and a sense of fulfillment - then wandering thoughts, in and of themselves, are not necessarily "bad," "negative," or "worthless."
Let not your thoughts scare you or disable you or trap you in an endless cycle of just "thinking." Be the observer of your thoughts. Appreciate their presence. Accept their gifts. Let them prompt you to action. Action that can broaden your mind, increase your understanding of self and others, and find fulfillment and contentment.
My thoughts for today (or rather for this moment NOW).
Peace to All. Namaste.
