Finding my way

One of the first assignments given to us was to do a book review or a film review. With so much reading already required of us, I wasn’t very keen on the idea of digging for yet one more book to read and to critique/review within about a week.  So, a video would have been preferred.

Reached out to a number of people to seek their help (I was told by a “sifu” before leaving Malaysia that I need to learn to reach out for help and be direct instead of being general. According to him, there are lots of people around me who want very much to help but because my communication is so poor – i.e., I don’t come out and ask for help directly and only “hint” – I almost never get the help I need. Which leads to them and I both being frustrated. But let me not digress too much here.). Thinking I am starting a new, let’s try this and be direct and seek assistance. No need to be shy. Unfortunately, that formula hasn’t worked yet. No help from those I reached out to .. so let’s just move on for now. Don’t give up yet, perhaps I still have some blocks internally.

So I started searching on my own – and letting the “spirit” or the Universe guide me.  I came across a number of video documentary on the Rohingyas. As mentioned previously – this is one of the areas I felt drawn to.  So I started watching them and finding out a little more of their history.  I still don’t like history (they are too complex and too many dates and names of tribes/ethnic groups etc), but they do provide a glimpse of how far these people have come and for how long they have suffered. Can’t imagine really – to think of the times when I was growing up and going to school and having parties or fights/arguments with others, and being sad or happy for this or that reason – out there were these people who were fighting for their survival. Everyday not knowing what each day might bring or if it would be their last day on earth. And this going on from generation to generation. It really puts our own problems into perspective.

So anyway, I decided to write to one of our instructors to enquire if it was okay for me to write my review on these documentaries.  I am still awaiting an answer as that has to be discussed in “the department.”  I am hoping they will allow it – tho I am still not sure exactly what I am going to say about the videos.

You see the assignment is really to demonstrate to us or to provide us with a sense of how the media (in terms of literature – fiction or non-fiction, music, poetry, art, dance, and so on) can impart to us an experience of another’s world. The point, I think, is for us to become aware that our views of people, of cultures, of different religions and nationalities and so forth can be shaped by our exposure to these media. Without knowing it, we may be indirectly influenced by what we read, see, or hear. And while each of these presenters (actors, directors, authors, composers) have their story to tell, we need to be cognizant that it may well be one of many perspectives. I wrote and explained to my instructor that – if allowed to pursue this, I believe it would be a great start for me in regards to examining the conditions of a group of people I feel drawn to “making a difference.”  It brings the learning to a new level and makes it come alive.  Isn’t this, after-all, what education is all about – even more so at the post graduate level?

And so I read on – even started to search for journal articles on the subject: the plight of the Rohingyas.  As I read on about the Rohingyas’ plight – more and more it becomes clear to me why I am here at this time and in this program.  They all seem to be tied in with the issues that tugged at my heart over the past years.

Several years ago – I read in the newspaper back in Malaysia about a community of refugees in the Cheras, KL area. Hundreds of these kids were packed together in a room – unable (not allowed) to go outside to play because the adults were afraid that if known – they would be separated, deported, or faced any other form of discrimination and/or abuse.  That perception probably stems from their past experience either in other places they have been to or from what they had encountered in their home country (Myanmar).

Last year when, again, it was featured in our newspaper the exodus of a bunch of people (termed the boat-people) trying to escape the harsh reality of their home country. They were desperately trying to land in Bangladesh, in Indonesia, in Malaysia, and even as far away as Australia. But they were being pushed back into the sea by the government of those respected countries. There were some “outrage” by people around the world and talk of how countries/governments and their people were being inhumane by not offering help to these refugees. I heard of people dying from their boats being capsized; others having to turn on each other on their boats to eat (dead or alive) to survive and other similar horror stories.  I was really moved by this and wanted so much to help but felt powerless to do anything.

I tried to gather a group of people to help with getting food, clothing, and other in-kind donation to be shipped north of the Peninsular (Malaysia) to be given to these people.  It seemed like that was the least I (we) could do.  But from both Buddhist and Christian organizations I received repeatedly the same decline to assist – “we would like to, but …”  Even friends whom I thought had hearts bigger than heaven’s door started questioning me, “how will you make sure these items will get to your intended recipients,” “how do we measure whether we are really making a difference in their lives,” “will this be sanctioned by our government,” and a host of other – to me what seemed like – excuses. I was fed-up .. and deeply disappointed.

At that time, I was looking for a program for my studies. Initially I was inclined to taking up something in the field of psychology as that is my background and training. But as I search and hit obstacles after obstacles, I came across this program called Developmental Studies.  I thought this was something in line with Psychology, so I looked into it.  After reading a bit about it, it turned out it wasn’t really “psychology” per se, but might have some connection.  I thought to myself, it sounds somewhat interesting as it dealt with how to help communities “develop,” “what is considered sustainable (programs I assumed),” “the examination of gender roles and how that pertains to development,” and so forth.  So without digging much more into it, I thought – let’s just go with it. I have wasted enough time mucking around with universities arguing with them about responding to enquiries on a timely basis, the entry requirements for international students, and all that.

So lo and behold, I applied – got myself accepted .. and here I am now.  The program has now been re-named to International Development.

I’ll stop here – as I have so much more to write. But let me take this one bite at a time.

Peace,

Syl