Friendship

Today my thoughts are centred on Friendship. Actually it has been several days now - and I've been telling myself to stay focus - there are lots that need to be done. Don't let your emotions get in your way. But 2 days of stomach cramps, muscle aches, nausea etc - I know my body is telling me, despite the good rest I am getting (at least one of those problems taken care of) - there is still internal dissonance. And, I am guessing they are all about betrayal and friendship. These pains, are undoubtedly - psychosomatic (i.e., they are NOT imaginary but are created by our mind). Our body is our ally - so when it aches, it is a call to us to stop and examine an imbalance within ourselves.

I came across a posting on FB perhaps yesterday - don't quite remember - but it said something like all the sleep cannot heal your internal/mental (as opposed to physical) ailments. For this - we need more than just sleep.

So, during my morning meditation - I've sought to clarify in myself, what ails me? And journeying within - the answer that I found inside of me was the feeling of betrayal. Betrayal by those we call our friends are among the most painful. But they are all part and parcel of life, are they not? We need to recognize them - and then let them go. Ahh - the usual theme in my life .. Let Go, and Let God.

I've often held to the belief that in all things - there is always that silver lining. A lesson, perhaps. And if we can gain that lesson, then perhaps the pain experienced was not all in vain. In any situation, find that which can be of use to you - to grow .. stronger and hopefully wiser.

And so they say: Hard times always brings out the true friends.  If we examine our lives, I hope this is true for you too - in the midst of our problems are we able to discern those who truly care (those who are true friends) and those who will only be friends when there is something for them to gain personally. They will take you for granted, they will manipulate you, they will make you promises they know they have no intention of keeping (unless there is a gain for them of course).

Thus, today I have to come to the sad realization again - much as I do not want to - that there are those who will stand by you and promise to take up for you and to protect you from harm by others but invariably will abandon those "promises" when faced with other more self serving needs.

I've often stressed on the idea of "Letting Go" as well. I know that only too well.  Let Go and Let God - as my sister once pointed out to me is not just a cool saying. The words in and of themselves carry little weight/power. It only begins to work - when you truly let go and let God IN to your life. Resolving to trust in His/Her great wisdom and compassion that God will always be faithful and will always have your back. But we need to let go to let Him do it His way.  I think, that also means knowing what to let go .. and there are so much to let go. Ultimately, of course, it is to let go of everything in surrender to His will.

For the past mornings, as I walk up to campus for my classes - I've been able to remember to say "I let go fully and surrender myself to Thee. Come in to my life and live in me. Guide me in Your path and grant me the strength to truly walk in faith." Perhaps - those words weren't enough because I was holding on to the "pain" and not willing to acknowledge what ails me. And hence, despite the words - I have not been willing to fully let go by acknowledging what was going on.  I think, I've known the answer even before the meditations on this. In fact, I've been contemplating writing to these "friends" to express my disappointment and my pain.  But I've also kept myself from doing that - not wanting to "hurt" them if that is even possible. And also because I have no confidence it will bring about anything positive since this will not be the first time I express my disappointment of such nature. So today - this very moment, I choose to Let Go. I accept that I've made mistakes and errors in judgment. I take responsibility for that. But what has passed is now in the past. And I shall move on and let what has been be as they are - for I am powerless to change that which lies in the past. I accept the pain that comes from this as a consequence of the choices made. And right this moment, I wish and I choose to move on forward.

Mother Theresa has this beautiful saying. The picture that follows is her advice to me.

So true what she says. And the ending, "In the final analysis it's between you and God. It has never been you and them anyway."

Let go and continue doing what I am doing. In that, it also means to forgive. But for me - at least at this moment in time - forgiving does not mean I condone what is being done. It only means I accept not only my choices but that of others as well. I choose to recognize that they too will have consequences for their actions and their choices. I do not wish them pain, or harm, or what so many call "karma" (as if karma is some punishment). But instead - I wish them peace and trust that they will find in their heart their own path that will lead them back to their Source - their God - their Bliss. After all, in the end - it is was also never between me and them. It's between them and God.  And so, I send them love.

Be thankful for the "true friends" in your life.  While we all have fair weathered friends - there are also those who are truly gems in our lives .. those who are the angels sent to keep us encouraged .. to give us strength when we are in need. We too are ourselves often too blind in our own pursuits that we have not noticed them. Perhaps, we too have taken them for granted. Spend time with them - be grateful for them - and bless them! To those, my true friends, I thank you for being there!

Namaste,
Syl