TIME

Today is the 28th of August 2016. Four months ago - 29th April 2016 – that appears to be the last entry I made in my blog. An often said phrase – “how time flies.”  It seems like just a while ago, I had a friend who made the comment to me that I have not updated my blog in quite some time.  Looking back now, it seems it was just a week or so ago when he made that comment. Now to think about it, that must have been at least 2 months ago. Last month, another friend dropped me an email asking me if there was a problem on her side as she hasn’t received any notification on any update from my blog. She said when she checked the blog, she found the last entry was 3 months earlier. Thinking she was having problem accessing my site, she dropped me that email. Turns out – that was a month ago.  Sure didn’t seem that long ago – but – year, time does fly, huh?

The truth of the matter is – it has crossed my mind many times to come back on and do some updating. But what’s the excuse? None really. I can’t think of any good excuse to give.  But even as I write this a quiet voice in my head says “Do I need to give an excuse? I don’t need to provide anyone with any excuse.  If I want to – I will write. And if I don’t want to, I won’t.”  Well, while that may be so – the fact of the matter is, I do want to write. And these thoughts are particularly strong at night before going to bed and I think of all the things I want to do, all the things I should have done (throughout the day), and the almost always resolution of “tomorrow I will do this and I will do that and I will do this better.” Yet time ang again – time slips by the next day and I end up doing I don’t know what.

Time. What a strange concept.  What is it? Where is it? How do I manage it? Why is it that it slips by me so very easily.  Not just me – but I suspect many many people as well. Yes – time.  Our friend and our enemy.

Off late, I have been wondering (yes, AGAIN) – why is it I am here? What am I doing here in NZ? Is this where I really want to be? I don’t quite know how to explain what I have been experiencing (especially since my last trip back to Malaysia). Perhaps, that is for another entry. 

But after “wasting” so much time (especially this semester), I finally decided to pick myself up again and do some catching up on my reading.  And what do you know? Today, all I have been reading has been on concepts like “time and space” and how Western ideologies shape our understanding of these.  How odd? Who would have thought that my studies into International Development would lead me to a reflection of time and space? And – more than that, to come across these thoughts in studying research design? Now, I think that’s weird.  Really weird.  Is this that “synchronicity” I am constantly harping on?  I can’t seem to escape this idea of some theme in life – some greater meaning – some bigger purpose.

Ok – enough rambling for the moment.  For today, as I take a shot at re-starting my blogging (my reflection), let me just leave this here for now .. and return to my reading.  Perhaps, I will return later to write more on my thoughts etc. ….

Peace,
Syl