Merry Christmas to one and all

Another year is almost over - and it has been 1 month and 1 day since I arrived in New Zealand for my new chapter in life.  Please allow me to take this opportunity to wish one and all a very blessed Christmas 2015. Whether you celebrate Christmas like Christians all over the world or it is just another day of celebration for you - I wish you and your family all the joy that this season brings to millions across the globe.  May this season bring you (and yours) much joy, peace, and hope! May this day begins with showers of blessings for you and all those you love - leading you through the new year 2016. May you find blessings abundance in 2016 that will make those that you received in 2015 pale in comparison. Let there be peace in all our hearts and let this peace spread from you to all those you encounter and touch in 2016.

I give thanks for the many blessings I have received this year - so many that I cannot possibly name them all here. Among them - the blessings from above that allowed me to leave my previous employment that has given me stability (financial) over the last 15+ years back in Malaysia. Topping the list of my blessings, tho has to be good health granted upon my family members and friends - most especially the good news from my much loved sister all the way from Australia. What a truly excellent Christmas present this year.

Thank you also for good friends who have continued to be with me throughout this entire year - whether you are here or miles apart - you have all contributed to the miracles in my life and brought much joy to me.

Merry Christmas - everybody - and Happy New Year 2016.

Peace and Joy
Syl

Forgiveness is a Choice

For the longest time – I have known that I need to learn to forgive for without doing so, I will not be able to move on to better things ahead.  I have known this – but I guess I didn’t really understand the concept of forgiveness. First and foremost, I now believe, it’s not so much needing to learn to forgive. We all know that – intrinsically.  We all have forgiven others before. So, it’s not a matter of needing to learn or re-learn.  It’s a matter of CHOICE.  We choose to forgive or not to forgive.  

How often have you forgiven a loved one, a friend, a family member – someone, anyone .. you choose to forgive.  And yet with some others, we hold on to the memory of the “injustice,” the act (whatever it may be) that we think they did TO us. An act of betrayal, a lack of understanding, a taking for granted. Whatever it may be – something that hurt us in one way or the other.  But even that – the feeling hurt by an action of another – is a matter of choice.  So today, I’ve come to realize not only do I need to forgive but that I have to make a CHOICE to forgive. I choose to forgive. For if I do not let go of the past, nothing new can come in.

I have mentioned Wayne Dyer several times in my previous entries.  Obviously, I see him as one of the great teachers in my life.  And I found his experience with his forgiving his father as something very significant to me.  You see, while my dad was never an alcoholic nor did he abandon our family (not in the same way at least) as did Wayne’s father – we never did have a good relationship.  Like Wayne, I remember growing up through the years always trying to find a way to please my father, to win his love. Until his final day on earth, I never succeeded.  And in those years of growing up – the numerous things I did to sacrifice my relationship with both my elder brothers (by being a tell-tale or spy) for my dad still never won me any of his affection.

But anyway, among the similarities with the situation Wayne went through, I remember for many years (even after his death) I continued to have nightmares associated with him.  But in those dreams, I was a grown up and no longer afraid of him, challenging him on God knows what and often ending up with me beating him or striking out at him. Like Wayne too, I would wake finding myself drenched in sweat. This went on for years.

Then in 2008, I believe, when I was deciding if I should wrap up my private practice, I took a trip to do my annual personal retreat. During that time, I read the book The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle.  And when I returned home, for some reason I was led to make a trip to visit my dad’s grave (about an hour’s drive from my place).  At his grave, not only was I able to tell him I forgave him and that I wished him well – but at the same time I also asked him for his forgiveness for my holding on to him all these years with anger and hatred.  In my mind it was like I had been holding him bound to this physical world because I would not let him go (off to wherever souls need to go after this lifetime). 

And just like that – after that event, I have never had another nightmare with him in it again.  He still appears in some of my dreams from time to time. But they were no longer fights or anything like that.  Now to think of it though, the later dreams of him was always with a knowing that he has passed away and for some reason back in the house (whatever the home is) living with us as if he had returned from the dead – but that I still knew he was dead.  I know! Doesn’t make much sense.

So anyway, I know I have to choose to forgive not so much for the other person but for myself to be freed.  I mentioned in my last entry about this woman who was a board member of the NGO I was attached to.  I have searched my heart and have never found that I “hate” her or wish her well.  But then I now realize I have never or would wish her well either.  In a sense, I guess, what I managed to do was to block her out of my “feelings” thinking I have no feelings for her.  My reasoning then was that if I don’t hate her, then I must have forgiven her.  But today, I believe otherwise.  It is not just “no feeling” or “no ill feeling.”  That could likely be just a denial of my emotions or my pain.  Isolating and keeping her in a box so that I need not feel anything does not mean I have forgiven her for the things she did.  Forgiving is more than that. It certainly means not only letting her go so that the space in my heart will be freed, but accepting her for all that she is or is not and still wishing her well.

I am sure there are others in my heart I need to do the same with.  She just happens to be the one most on top and the first to surface when I think of someone I may be angry with and need to forgive.  So, today I make a choice.  I choose to let her go – forgive her for all that she did.  She must have had her reasons for her actions. I may never understand them, and even if did know the reasons for her behaviour, I may not agree. So, I will choose to simply trust that she did what she believed to be correct, and I wish her well. That she too will find the peace I am sure we all, in our own ways, are seeking to rediscover.  

Beyond forgiving her or my dad or anyone else I deemed to have wronged me – there are two other things I want to do in this entry.

One – to ask forgiveness from all those whom I have wronged knowingly or unknowingly.  For all the hurt I may have passed on to another. For all the mistakes made – and this includes both my dad and this woman. I send this out to the Universe believing that we are all of the same Source.

Two – to also forgive myself for having all the “mistakes”  I have made; the “bad decisions”; the ego-driven behaviors and so on. For all those I can remember and those buried so deeply then are no longer on the surface of my awareness. 

Peace

Syl

Trust and follow the calling from within.

Yesterday I had mentioned having worked at an NGO in my past.  Like with all other experiences, the time I spent there was an eye-opener for me in so many ways. There was much I learnt while I was there.  And over the years, as I’ve looked back on that chapter in my life – many times have I said I am so thankful for that opportunity given me then.  Not only did it bring me out of a debt I had created for myself by a venture I had gone into without enough conviction (that story is for another day), but it also gave me life experiences that I only knew of (intellectually) but had not yet experienced first hand. So many things learnt there that it would be difficult to list them all down here.  But in looking back and being thankful, a point that had remained in my head too was how in particular there is this one person that I so “despised.”  I think the word despise is very strong because I am not sure if I hate her or loath her or anything.  It’s just I can still recall some of the things she had said to me that until today I still remember so clearly. Things that made me believe she is such a fake and a hypocrite etc.  This woman, a board member of the NGO was, to me, the personification of evil.

Recognizing the strong (negative) feelings I have of her also reminded me of two things: (1) that I judge her, and (2) that I still hold resentment towards her.  And while I have had many occasions where I said to myself – that “I forgive her”, I suppose – in truth I have not.  And I know that in the course of my journey – the time must come for me to be able to let go of that past and as Dr. Dyer did with his father so too must I say to this person “I forgive you, and from this day forward I send you nothing but love.”

I started today’s entry with a reference to the NGO from yesterday because I wanted to share with you an official rejection I received yesterday (from an not-for-profit organization here).  I wrote this on my FB status – and even when I did that, I thought some would be thinking it’s crazy of me to do that. Why would anyone want to share with the world that they were rejected in their application for a job?  But I did it anyway on FB, and now I will do it here as well.

To say it was not disappointing would not be true at all.  It was disappointing.  When I noticed they were looking for a person to join their organization as they expanded into the city I am in – I thought to myself “Wow. A synchronicity (coincidence) in action.” To add to that, it was in the area I have had experience in (referring to the NGO in Malaysia that I had helmed for almost a year).  Furthermore, as most of the employers here are seeking full-time employees – this organization was looking for a part-timer.  Since I am only allowed to work part-time in this next year, I thought this has to be the Universe at work.  So, I was more than surprised when they wrote me and thanked me for my interest adding that while they were very impressed with my experience and what I can bring to their organization, they are unable to offer me that role.

What was unusual for me, I suppose, was – my immediate feeling was “Wow. Didn’t see that coming.”  And then it was disappointment – how could I not get that job? Am I not good enough? Was I over qualified? Did I do this or not do that? What was the reason? Without hesitation, I wrote them back to thank them for their consideration and for writing to inform me.  I then also asked if they would be willing to give me some feedback in regards to my application – i.e., if there was something I should have done and did not do, or something I did that I should not – as this may be helpful for me in my application for other jobs in the future.  While writing this, I have not received any response from them. Perhaps, they may not have the time to respond to such an enquiry.

 

From disappointment, briefly I entered a state of anxiety (not quite fear yet – but for sure anxious) as I started thinking – how will I find a job to help pay for my living expenses? Will I be able to find something? When will that be? What am I going to do if nothing comes about?  I think these are common “anxieties” for many people.  But I know – these negative thinking (and certainly over-thinking) can be detrimental to one’s well-being. 

Fortunately for me, this lasted but for a moment before I could get myself back to being more focused.  It is just one rejection. Perhaps there will be more to come. That doesn’t matter. I need to stay focused on the Why Am I Here and NOT the Why did they not offer me the job?  Cos it really doesn’t matter the why they did what they did.  I know my being here is no mistake – and therefore something will work out one way or the other.  Perhaps the time is just not right? Perhaps a lot of things – but I need not focus my energy on those perhaps and just trust that “In God, all things are possible.”  So – I move on.  And there is no fear or embarrassment sharing that on FB or here for that matter.

Dr. Wayne Dyer said: “…there are no mistakes in this universe. The stars are all in alignment. The sun is in the exact distance from Earth, to the millimetre, to create and sustain life. There is a precision to this universe, whether looking through a telescope or a microscope, that defies intellectual comprehension. It is all perfect down to the tiniest sub-atomic particle and outward to the most distant celestial body. Included in this precision is all that comes our way as well, even though an understanding of the why is frequently not apparent.”  And again later, “… there are no accidents or coincidences in a universe that is truly created and guided by invisible forces that elude rational explanation.” (in his book I Can See Clearly Now)

So I will march on from the experience, as I have in countless other life experiences, to follow where my heart calls me to go.  Without fear – and with joyful anticipation.  Let me end today’s entry with a quote from A Course in Miracles: “If you know who walked beside you at all times on this path you have chosen, you could never experience fear or doubt again.”

Shalom,

Syl

Finding My (your) Passion

According to Adam Leipzig in his Malibu TedTalk – to find your passion, you need to ask 5 questions:

1.  Who are you?
2.  What do you do?
3. Who do you do it for?
4. What do they need?
5. How does what you do impact them?

I think I’ve answered these questions (in my own style) in previous entries. And I believe I’ve also mentioned reading the book I Can See Clearly Now by Dr. Wayne Dyer.  Am up to almost 38.20% of the book done. I know I know – moving very slowly.  But even at this stage – the book is simply wonderful.  Giving me a lot of insights into my own search for meaning and purpose.  Also learning things about Psychology or Counselling that I didn’t know before.  And here I was thinking I know a lot.  But the reality is the more we learn the more we come to know how little we know. So much more to learn.

I wonder, like with Wayne, perhaps my own being here in NZ is because it has something BIG to teach me.  No – not perhaps.  For sure there is something big for me to learn here.  How I came to the program that I am in.  Doesn’t even sound like something that fits me.  International Development? What is that?  All I know of it – when I came across it – was that it has something to do with development of people/communities/societies.  Is that me? Mmmm .. not really. But it could be.  In fact when I first stumbled upon the course it was named Developmental Studies.  I thought it was Developmental Psychology.  So – might fit me.  After all, Developmental Psychology is one of several areas of Psychology that interests me.  But as I read more about it, it wasn’t Developmental Psychology after all.

Then I thought – well still sounds kinda interesting.  I have, from time to time, been drawn to some social causes that seem to tug pretty hard on my heart.  But I never knew what to do with it or how to go about making a difference in a community much more in a society.  During my stint in the role of Student Affairs – I also got interested in beyond community engagement but also the entrepreneurial aspect of running such programs.  Also, looking back – my short stint with an NGO in Malaysia also made me realize that far too many NGOs or (not for profit organizations) have the mindset of constantly approaching people with a “alms bowl” asking for donation and support.  I am well aware far too many people cringe when they see another “beggar” coming to them.  Even then I believed, if you want to ask something from others – you must also be willing to give.  In fact, the giving preceeds the taking.  After all, isn’t there a saying that goes: it is more blessed to give than to receive?

And so within the workings of an NGO – there must be the component of giving to the people we encounter – that encompass both the target population we choose to serve (as our defined cause) as well as those people we ask to join us in support of our cause.  So when people donate – be it their ideas, their time, their energy or their money – we must ensure they too are blessed with our presence in their lives. That means we bring to them something that is useful and beneficial to them and not just be there to ask and take.

From this stems the idea of social entrepreneurship.  As we endeavour to walk the path we have chosen and to serve the population of our choice (whatever the cause be it in finding a cure for cancer, or helping those with AIDS, or providing a means to live for the refugees all around the globe or whatever), we must ensure that we have a means to support our cause; that is to be self-sustaining.  The program must be able to move forward with or without the constant drive to go out and ask for donations alone. We need also to be mindful we do not become producers of people who are constantly dependent on society’s handouts. The people we serve, whatever their challenges are (illnesses, financial constraints, physical limitations, etc) are people; they are human beings.  And with that, they – like the rest of us – would want to know that they too have a place on this earth.  They too have a purpose and are not burden to society.  They too want a sense of identity to be proud of – to feel they have something to contribute to the well-being of the rest of the world.  They have dignity. They seek to have a sense of self-worth.

My background in both Sociology and Psychology seemed to fit in well with the program I have signed up for. And while I haven’t formally gotten into it, I am sure (I know it) that I will find a purpose within that.  This is where my heart has been pulling me these past years.  Perhaps my stepping into that NGO was to prepare me for this.  My return to the University and taking up the role in Student Affairs too were all steps towards this “destiny” although I didn’t know it at that time.

So – today, I am one step closer to unravelling the “mystery” of why I am here in NZ enrolled in a program I know little about.

That’s it for today.  Stay tuned and help me discover my “destiny” if you will.

“If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavour to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.”  - Henry D. Thoreau.

Peace,
Syl

A Dream Waiting to be Fulfilled

After my last entry about the book barn, I decided this morning to google it to see if I can get a picture of what I meant (with the sunlight streaming in).  Turns out the idea of a book barn is not new at all. There are loads of pictures on Book Barns all around the world it would seem.  But nothing quite what I envision in my mind.  Some of them were simply beautiful! Modern and yet cozy, structured and clean – and offers a sense of warmth. But they were more like a home (inside their house. Sort of like a library for that home. Beautiful – but not what I am thinking of.

I tried searching under a variety of names – but still didn’t quite find it.  And I kept thinking to myself – but it must exist some where. It has to since a picture of it has already appeared in my mind. Therefore it must be real.  Oh well – perhaps it will be real when I materialize it.  And right now – the Universe is “conspiring” to make it a reality. In God, all things are possible.

Here is one that looks really nice. But it is out in the open (sort of). And the books are all neatly arranged like in a store. But the garden table with the parasol is nice.  And it is in a bright spot for people to sit, enjoy a cuppa and read their novel.

To the right is another that would fit quite nicely in my dream. Lots of greenery.  That’s always nice. Perhaps a bit too many tables. I don’t want a diner.

 

This (to the left) is also nice. More barn like setting. But where are the books? And the greenery? And way too many tables again – making it more like a Barn Diner. Some of the ideas would be good to incorporate tho.

And this is what I meant by sunlight streaming in – but again, I couldn’t quite find one showing the light entering into a barn.  Well actually, there were quite a number of them.  But they showed of very dilapidated barns – and again, not exactly what I had in mind.

Perhaps a mixture of this plus the above scenes to make it the perfect Book Barn for me.  And dragons too!! (Picture to the right)

And self-made stained glass around the place? (Picture to the left) 

  

With other unusual decorations? (Picture to the right)

Ultimately, I want it to be out in the open .. with bright stars in a clear sky at night. With mountains in the background. A stream or lake or pond nearby. (See below)

Perhaps one good example of this would be the Green Dragon – found in Hobbiton.

 

 A DREAM WAITING TO BE FULFILLED

Happy Sunday everyone!
Syl

Finding my "music"

Following from my last blog entry – in case you have not realized, the questions aren’t so much directed to you (the reader) as it is to me - myself.  It is more a recording of my internal dialogue – speaking with myself .. and sometimes even in the midst of writing, there is already an inner voice shouting out an answer to the question (at times quite different from what is in my head – what I was intending to write).

A long time ago when I was in the US and was keeping a journal of sorts, I used to consider it my dialogue with my “master” – a spiritual teacher, if you like, who is there to challenge me while guiding me on a path I was not all too aware (fully aware) of.  Sometimes it felt (still feels) like it was (is) the voice of God, not so much admonishing me but more like challenging me to expand my view and thinking.  But as I had said before – who cares what you call it (that voice). A teacher, God, the Universe or simply just me myself .. perhaps a “higher” self? I don’t know. But it doesn’t really matter as this is all a part of the journey of self discovery and growth.  So I hope no one takes offense to what is being said (or written) as it is my path – a path for me to walk. And if it applies to you too, GREAT. And if not, dump it and move on (or offer your own thoughts to challenge mine – challenge as in broaden my own thinking. Food for thought kinda thing).

So anyway – Finding my music. What is my music anyway?  I have been reading an e-book I checked out from the city library here.  Heard of this a long time back, but I never got around to looking it up and purchasing it.  Now, I don’t have to purchase it as I can check it out from the library – tho I am not quite sure how a library checks out an e-book? Does it disintegrate after 14 days (the allotted time for the check out)? How do I go about “returning” an e-book that has been downloaded onto my computer? I guess – this too is a learning process. Something new – but here I go digressing again. The book? It’s by Dr. Wayne Dyer – I Can See Clearly Now.  Sort of an autobiography, I guess.  Good book.  Even though I am only at the start with only 12.44% covered (these e-books are great – they even tell you how much of the book you have covered) – it is fascinating. Explains a lot about how he came to be who he is (or was). In it, he describes his dharma and how he “came upon” it.  That makes me wonder – is this similar to my own dharma?

I want to be able to share my thoughts and my journey – to be able to speak my mind (and my heart). I have long envisioned having a place that is open to all to come to and visit.  A place that has lots of books and stuff for people to look through – to borrow, to take away, to buy – however they want to do it. A place people can stop and just chill out and ponder things. And I would be so happy to be present to share my thoughts and experiences and to learn from the “travellers” who choose to stop by and willing to share their own thoughts and experiences. In a way – this blog is already the beginning of that, don’t you think?

Two years ago when I visited Arrowstown, that was my “vision.”  I came across what many would call a “new age” type of shop. What attracted me to this quaint little shop of course are the little figurines of dragons. (Yeah, I have a fascination for dragons – tho I am no expert on the various types of dragons there are. And NO I was not born in the year of the dragon.  Perhaps – I was a dragon in a previous life.  I don’t know. But anyway – a little trivial info about me. So in case anyone wants to buy me a gift or something – now you know what you can get – one of the many things. Hahaha). But not just dragons, there were also angels and other religious type figurines – like the laughing Buddha and so on.  There were crystals and feel good signs; books, dvds, and stuff like that.  I thought to myself – this is what I would like to have .. but more open and not a small little shop hidden near the back or the corner. You know? Something more open - brighter. I don’t mind the small space – but it has to be brighter and more in the flow of things so people can just stop in and take a look around.  Not so much a business place – but some place to just stop and chill.  At one point when discussing this with my brother – something he said even had me visualize like an old barn – detached from the main house.  It is stacked with books all around (not neatly stacked like in a library) with some somewhat faded and maybe even a little dusty stools and chairs and wooden crates people could sit on to read – may be even a rock. There may even be broken tiles on the roof of the barn letting in a stream of light into the old barn. Can you see it? With the light showing like dust particles floating in the air type deal?  Ahhh – still so clear in my head.

Of course that idea was not new to me then (two years ago) tho some aspects were.  I mean, I have always wanted a place that has lots of books – old books, stuff – old used stuff (not necessary antiques) – and also a sort of café like setting where people can get a cup of coffee, tea, hot chocolate whatever – to drink and maybe a snack to munch on while they browse the stuff there or to sit and read.

Is this going to be my dharma? Is this (not going to bebut IS) MY dharma? Is this not too late a stage for me to only now be finding out my purpose? Again to cite Dr. Dyer – in one of the many PBS programs he made – one of them entitled, “Your reality is created by your thoughts,” he introduced to us Louise Hay. It’s not that I have never heard of Louise before.  As those of you who are into self-help and spiritual well-being may know, Louise is the founder of one of the world’s largest publisher of these spiritual and high-consciousness materials (self-help books and dvds etc.) – Hay House.  What I didn’t know was she made a “shift” at the age of 60 and started this publishing company.  She also wrote her a book entitled “You Can Heal Your Life.” If she can do it – then why not me? She was 60 when she did that – and I am not even quite there yet, so how can I be too old to find my purpose?  Also, finding my purpose now does not mean that everything in the past was not a part of that purpose.  They could all have been a build up to it. In fact, not a “could have been” but certainly IS – after all, everything that we are today is shaped by our experiences along life’s journey.  Further more, today’s purpose may not be tomorrow’s purpose either.  I might have had a calling to be a teacher once, and then a counsellor and later a writer or a painter or a gardener.  Life unfolds as it will; everything happens with a divine purpose at the appropriate time.

 

And so – I want to make a difference in the life of others.  I want to be able to contribute to the well-being of the world – fellow travellers like me (and we are all travellers) on our journey home.  I believe that is what I am called to do – and that is why I am in NZ.  Why NZ? I still don’t know – but the fact that I am here NOW – is enough to indicate to me that this is indeed the place I am called to be. I am exactly where I need to be – and yet so much more will unfold as I go along.

That’s it for now.  As always – thanks for joining me on this journey.

Shalom,
Syl

Why Am I Here - Who Am I doing this for?

Who do you want to do this for?

At first when I considered this question – my immediate thoughts were on particular/specific people: my son, his daughter, my family members and friends etc.

But now – the answer that jumps out in response to that question is: to everyone; to anyone. Everyone and anyone I meet everyday – any time.  A stranger, a friend, a family member. No matter. For we are all one. We are all connected. Ultimately you are me; he is me; she is me; they are all me. We all originate from that same Divine Source.

How do you do this? How can you impact their lives?

By the simplest things. A smile; a nod; a greeting; opening the door for another; slowing down and letting some one come out of their parking; stopping to chat with another and millions of other ways.

“Don’t be afraid to do something just because you are scared of what people are going to say about you.  People will judge you no matter what.” (Taken from Quotegate.com – via FB).

      

Little things that we can all do everyday. And they don’t cost anything. Everyone wants to be recognized – to be appreciated – to know they are “visible.” Everyone wants to feel good.

We can do this so easily by just those simple and little acts of kindness. To hold in our hearts all the time the question: “How may I serve you?” “What can I do for you today?”  Everyone wants to feel good about themselves. Help them do that.

Shalom

Syl 

Why Am I Here: - What do I want?

Today’s Affirmation: “God/Universe is my Infinite Supply.”

What is it that I want?
I want to be free. Free to be. To be able to share my joy and my life. To be able to travel the world. To marvel at the beauty of this life (and you can already marvel at the beauty that surrounds you NOW – everyday of your life – all around you all the time).

I want to be free from financial worries. Where money flows in with abundance. I want to be able to give as freely as it comes. The flow is a continuous movement – everyday, all the time. To be free from financial concerns. To give to whomever and whenever I want.

"In an infinite universe, every point in space is the center."
(David Zindell)

I want to be able to spend time with those I love.

Today, I want to commit myself to achieving these. To commit myself to a life of peace, understanding, and love. To be patient and to trust that all things will arrive at their appointed time. I want to commit to a life of abundance. I want to be able to serve without reservation or judgement or expectation. To experience life to the fullest. To fulfil my purpose in this life. To play my music.

And what is my purpose? What is it I want to do?

An affirmation I had written when I first arrived in NZ (in fact it has been a prayer of mine daily for sometime now) goes: “To add value to everyone I meet – everyday.” To bring to them a “sense of peace” – knowing very well that it is always their choice to accept or not. You just can’t shove “peace” down the throat of anyone – more so if it is only your version of “peace.”  That’s ok. I want to bring this to the people I encounter daily – without having to judge them, without needing to be attached to any outcome. I need not hear their thanks or appreciation or to have them heap praises and acknowledgment on me. Or even to see them “change” or “succeed” for looking for these outcomes will be judgment and expectation. “Be open to everything, and attached to nothing.”

This is what I want to do.

Have a peaceful day,

Syl

YOLO

Why Am I Here?  - YOLO

“The concept of YOLO is not to go drink, to smoke, and/or to make an ass of yourself.  It is to go out and do something with your life that matters.”

We all only have one life given to us (that we are aware of). Don’t be afraid to do what you want to do.  Live your life NOW – that means today. Not wait until the next milestone – when I graduate, when I get a job, after I buy my house, when I get married, after my first child, my second child, when my kids are grown, when they graduate, when I make my first million .. and on and on and on. It’s never ending (until the end-end comes – when it is time for us to leave). These are all living in the future.  If you are constantly living in the future and waiting, you will never get to enjoy the NOW which is your Present (from the Universe).  Tomorrow may never come.  We are only given today; tomorrow is not promised.

Our life is our message to the world. Let’s make it count; Let’s make it inspiring.

Decide on what is it you desire.  What is it you want? If there were no limits – what would it be?  Is it perhaps to travel the world with no worries or cares? To fly first class whenever you want? To own a house that sits on the edge of a hill and overlooks the ocean? (side note: as I was re-reading this line in particular – it is interesting that I originally wrote “I own a house that sits on the edge of a hill…” rather than the edited version now that begins with “TO own a house ..”)

Did you notice that as soon as you answer that question – like for example: “I want to travel the world with no financial worries; first class all the way …” That idea is immediately followed by a thought that suggests “No way.  That’s never going to happen. It’s impossible. Maybe just visit some places. Perhaps economy class – still good enough. The goals must be reasonable. They must be achievable. … and so on …”

This is called “settling.”  And we have created limitations for ourselves – that we buy into – we believe – and therefore we will likely make it true.

Why do we settle? Why do we not believe it is possible? There are people out there who’ve made it. There are people out there who are doing it. Some started where we are. Many had even less than what you and I have. If they can do it, then why can’t I? Why can’t you? Is it pure luck? Why do we not have such luck? Are they blessed by God? And we are not? Does God perhaps love them more than He loves you? More than He loves me? Are we not all from the same Source?

There is no reason why you cannot have that home that is worth millions of dollars in the market.  They only reason why we cannot have that has to be because we have created this illusion – this self-confining limit.  It is our belief system.  The only thing that separates us from those who have it is … Attitude.

Attitude includes what you believe to be real or possible or realistic (some call this faith – NOT fate). It is in our thinking.  That thinking leads to what we perceive as our reality.  The Universe is about abundance.  And we can draw as much as we want from it – and it will never decrease.  It cannot. For it is God – limitless, ever giving.  The question is: Do you believe?

Do you believe you “deserve.”  Do you believe you are good enough? Do you believe you originate from the Source? That you are made by God? And God cannot make mistakes.  You are no mistake. You are no junk. Do you believe there is abundance, and it is limitless? Do you believe?  Truly believe.

Have the thought – then the desire/intent(ion).  Visualize it.  Feel it as if it is Real (because it is real). Then let go of the outcome.  The Universe will do the rest.

Note: I am writing these – not as a lecture to you – but as a conversation with “self.”  I am writing this while I am NOT a millionaire (well not yet anyway). I am just one of you. We are the same.

Affirmation for today: “I love and approve of myself.” (Louise Hay). 

Remember, God does not make junk.

Namaste
Syl

Why Am I Here - the beginning

So in the last “episode” – we left off with the question – Why Am I Here?  Let me begin with that – tho the disclaimer I need to put out right from the get-go is that .. don’t be surprise if there is NO answer.  At least not in the “first” entry (which is this entry). After all, this is a journey – a journey of discovery.  And as I had already alluded to earlier, I am writing as I go along with no idea what the end would be like.  I am, myself, finding out as I go along.

You are more than welcome to walk along with me. And (or If) you feel bored at any time, please be free to take a break – to walk away for a short moment, or for a long moment, or forever too – that’s all fine.  Life is, after all, all about choices we have to make for ourselves, right?  Oh – and if you ever feel the urge to disagree, to comment, to ask questions – please do so.  Don’t be shy.  You can respond here, drop me a private note via email or on FB if you are connected to me there .. however you like to. I have also mentioned – I don’t have all the answers. And the answers I have may be fine with me, but that does not mean they will be right for you. I am no prophet here to preach to anyone.  I am just a pilgrim on a journey home – sharing my thoughts, feelings, and experiences with whomever I happen to meet along this journey.

So – here we go ….

I guess this blog will serve as kinda like a journal for me.  I believe that was the intention many moons ago anyway when I first started the blog.  It is, in many ways, like a book I used to carry around with me when I first moved to the US to pursue my undergrad degree.  Of course, then we didn’t have computers that are compact enough to carry around etc.  At that time, I didn’t even have a desktop much less a laptop (the earlier versions of notebooks etc).  Okok .. I know I am digressing, right.  But if you know me – you would also know this is not unusual. I think I write like I speak (too much sometimes – hahaha) – and my brain has a way of running off on it’s own .. so it may end up to be a lot of words (thoughts) that may lead me very far from the original topic. But then – oh so what? That’s life.  Go with the flow – and don’t be so “rigid.”  Who knows? Perhaps that is the way to be; be fluid and guided by the spirit to lead you where you need to go.

Oops.  My front wheels still seem to be pulling to the right or to the left on tangents .. Let me try to pull myself back a little (without pulling too much less I contradict myself in regards to the being fluid idea). Be a bit rigid – be a bit fluid. Be both – be balance.  Like the Yin and the Yang symbol. Balance.

This is so much cuter, don't you think?

The Yin and the Yang – opposites but One. They complement each other – with a little of the Yin in the Yang, and a little of the Yang in the Yin. Neither being complete without the other. So harmonious.

Ok – so this might be a journal – or it might not be. Perhaps it will be just like a scrap book – and exercise book for me to write down my thoughts, my feelings, my experiences, and so on.  Maybe it will turn out to be nothing more than a “trash bin” for me to dump all my rubbish in or it might be a “treasure chest” – containing some wonderful golden nuggets. Who knows? Besides – everything in life is, after all, defined by our perceptions/interpretations, are they not? Everything is relative.  Don’t believe me? Ask Einstein!  As Dr. Wayne Dyer once said, the amount of hair on his head may be described as “little.” But in a bowl of soup, that is A LOT of hair!!!  What we call this – a journal, an exercise book, a blank canvas, treasure chest, a pile of junk – it doesn’t really matter. As Alan Watts puts it: “You can’t get wet from the word water.”  The label is not important.  It is the substance that counts.  "A rose by any other name still smells as sweet." (William Shakespeare)

  

Wow – about 5 or 6 paragraphs later and I still haven’t touched on the question of Why Am I Here?  You think I don’t know this? Of course I do.  Just testing your patience. Hahaha.  Plus – come on. Enjoy the journey.  It is the process that is important. Not the end destination, ok?  Relax.  Get a cup of coffee.  I just did.  Well, mine is actually a cup of “Tea. Earl Grey. Hot” at the moment.  Would be nice if I could have one of those things you find on the Star Trek’s Entreprise – I can just say “Tea. Earl Grey. Hot” and it will materialize a cup of hot tea for me.”  Hmmmm ….

“The first step in your journey back to you is always the hardest. 

Tip toe if you must, but take the step.” 

(author – unknown) 

Why am I here? I am here because I need to find my music! There.  That’s the answer.  If I play along enough and not get too caught up in thinking and over analysing, the answers will always come.  And mind you answers don’t always have to remain the same.  What is true today may not be true tomorrow.  So, my answer for now is “I need to find my music.”

Most men (that includes women – cos the word men here is used in its generic form to include both gender) .. most men die with their music still in them. They never found it or if they did, they never played it (or sang it or danced it or whatever – however).  “The mass of men die with their music still in them.” (Ralph Waldo Emerson)

  

Don’t you think we owe it to ourselves to live our lives the way we want to? Who are we living for? Are we doing things because we are told we need to do this or do that? Study a field. Get a particular job. Get married. Have x number of kids. Raise them this way or that way. Make sure you have this amount of money in your bank account. Own at least one or two houses.  Else you won’t be successful.  

On and on.  So many seem to choose the field of studies when they go to college or universities based on the kinda jobs they want.  And the kinda jobs they choose are determined by the pay scale they hope to get.  Some don’t even think that far – it’s simply do what your parents tell you to do. Or your friends. Or your teachers. Whoever.  You don’t need to think for yourself. Just trust them. After all, they have your best interest in mind, don’t they? I am sure they do.  BUT – we all have a certain music inside of us. You and I – we are here for a reason. A purpose.

 That’s why I am here.  I want to know what my purpose is.  What is my reason for being.   And I am on a journey of discovery NOW – to find that music. My music.  Some may say this is a little late in the game, isn’t it?  Perhaps so.  But as the saying goes: Better late than never.

Right – time for a break.  My hot tea is gone.  I will let this sit and sink it for awhile.  No no not for you.  I need for it to sink in awhile for myself.  So .. stay tuned if you aren’t bored yet.  I can feel a million thoughts running around my head now, and I feel like just going on and on .. but another part of me also says: STOP.  That seems to be a bit “louder” – and the feeling, stronger. So, I shall stop.  But as Arnold would say “I WILL BE BACK.”

Shalom,
Syl