Why Am I Here - the beginning

So in the last “episode” – we left off with the question – Why Am I Here?  Let me begin with that – tho the disclaimer I need to put out right from the get-go is that .. don’t be surprise if there is NO answer.  At least not in the “first” entry (which is this entry). After all, this is a journey – a journey of discovery.  And as I had already alluded to earlier, I am writing as I go along with no idea what the end would be like.  I am, myself, finding out as I go along.

You are more than welcome to walk along with me. And (or If) you feel bored at any time, please be free to take a break – to walk away for a short moment, or for a long moment, or forever too – that’s all fine.  Life is, after all, all about choices we have to make for ourselves, right?  Oh – and if you ever feel the urge to disagree, to comment, to ask questions – please do so.  Don’t be shy.  You can respond here, drop me a private note via email or on FB if you are connected to me there .. however you like to. I have also mentioned – I don’t have all the answers. And the answers I have may be fine with me, but that does not mean they will be right for you. I am no prophet here to preach to anyone.  I am just a pilgrim on a journey home – sharing my thoughts, feelings, and experiences with whomever I happen to meet along this journey.

So – here we go ….

I guess this blog will serve as kinda like a journal for me.  I believe that was the intention many moons ago anyway when I first started the blog.  It is, in many ways, like a book I used to carry around with me when I first moved to the US to pursue my undergrad degree.  Of course, then we didn’t have computers that are compact enough to carry around etc.  At that time, I didn’t even have a desktop much less a laptop (the earlier versions of notebooks etc).  Okok .. I know I am digressing, right.  But if you know me – you would also know this is not unusual. I think I write like I speak (too much sometimes – hahaha) – and my brain has a way of running off on it’s own .. so it may end up to be a lot of words (thoughts) that may lead me very far from the original topic. But then – oh so what? That’s life.  Go with the flow – and don’t be so “rigid.”  Who knows? Perhaps that is the way to be; be fluid and guided by the spirit to lead you where you need to go.

Oops.  My front wheels still seem to be pulling to the right or to the left on tangents .. Let me try to pull myself back a little (without pulling too much less I contradict myself in regards to the being fluid idea). Be a bit rigid – be a bit fluid. Be both – be balance.  Like the Yin and the Yang symbol. Balance.

This is so much cuter, don't you think?

The Yin and the Yang – opposites but One. They complement each other – with a little of the Yin in the Yang, and a little of the Yang in the Yin. Neither being complete without the other. So harmonious.

Ok – so this might be a journal – or it might not be. Perhaps it will be just like a scrap book – and exercise book for me to write down my thoughts, my feelings, my experiences, and so on.  Maybe it will turn out to be nothing more than a “trash bin” for me to dump all my rubbish in or it might be a “treasure chest” – containing some wonderful golden nuggets. Who knows? Besides – everything in life is, after all, defined by our perceptions/interpretations, are they not? Everything is relative.  Don’t believe me? Ask Einstein!  As Dr. Wayne Dyer once said, the amount of hair on his head may be described as “little.” But in a bowl of soup, that is A LOT of hair!!!  What we call this – a journal, an exercise book, a blank canvas, treasure chest, a pile of junk – it doesn’t really matter. As Alan Watts puts it: “You can’t get wet from the word water.”  The label is not important.  It is the substance that counts.  "A rose by any other name still smells as sweet." (William Shakespeare)

  

Wow – about 5 or 6 paragraphs later and I still haven’t touched on the question of Why Am I Here?  You think I don’t know this? Of course I do.  Just testing your patience. Hahaha.  Plus – come on. Enjoy the journey.  It is the process that is important. Not the end destination, ok?  Relax.  Get a cup of coffee.  I just did.  Well, mine is actually a cup of “Tea. Earl Grey. Hot” at the moment.  Would be nice if I could have one of those things you find on the Star Trek’s Entreprise – I can just say “Tea. Earl Grey. Hot” and it will materialize a cup of hot tea for me.”  Hmmmm ….

“The first step in your journey back to you is always the hardest. 

Tip toe if you must, but take the step.” 

(author – unknown) 

Why am I here? I am here because I need to find my music! There.  That’s the answer.  If I play along enough and not get too caught up in thinking and over analysing, the answers will always come.  And mind you answers don’t always have to remain the same.  What is true today may not be true tomorrow.  So, my answer for now is “I need to find my music.”

Most men (that includes women – cos the word men here is used in its generic form to include both gender) .. most men die with their music still in them. They never found it or if they did, they never played it (or sang it or danced it or whatever – however).  “The mass of men die with their music still in them.” (Ralph Waldo Emerson)

  

Don’t you think we owe it to ourselves to live our lives the way we want to? Who are we living for? Are we doing things because we are told we need to do this or do that? Study a field. Get a particular job. Get married. Have x number of kids. Raise them this way or that way. Make sure you have this amount of money in your bank account. Own at least one or two houses.  Else you won’t be successful.  

On and on.  So many seem to choose the field of studies when they go to college or universities based on the kinda jobs they want.  And the kinda jobs they choose are determined by the pay scale they hope to get.  Some don’t even think that far – it’s simply do what your parents tell you to do. Or your friends. Or your teachers. Whoever.  You don’t need to think for yourself. Just trust them. After all, they have your best interest in mind, don’t they? I am sure they do.  BUT – we all have a certain music inside of us. You and I – we are here for a reason. A purpose.

 That’s why I am here.  I want to know what my purpose is.  What is my reason for being.   And I am on a journey of discovery NOW – to find that music. My music.  Some may say this is a little late in the game, isn’t it?  Perhaps so.  But as the saying goes: Better late than never.

Right – time for a break.  My hot tea is gone.  I will let this sit and sink it for awhile.  No no not for you.  I need for it to sink in awhile for myself.  So .. stay tuned if you aren’t bored yet.  I can feel a million thoughts running around my head now, and I feel like just going on and on .. but another part of me also says: STOP.  That seems to be a bit “louder” – and the feeling, stronger. So, I shall stop.  But as Arnold would say “I WILL BE BACK.”

Shalom,
Syl