This day started out good. Woke up early - ready to go. Had a good breakfast. Finished up preparing this and that in the house. Sat around and did some reading while waiting for my ride. My son arrived on time as planned - but we made a run back to the house to pick up le lovely wife and le baby - my lil angel. :)
The short ride to his home was "weird" as only minutes into the ride, I asked him
"Where are we?"
And his answer was even stranger.
"What? We are on the way to my place."
I went on, "but nothing looks familiar."
"Huh? This is the usual way. We just passed what was once Wisma Syl."
"Oh. But nothing looks familiar." I looked around and saw buildings that seemed so alien to me. There were new buildings coming up. Greenery around. Truly they looked unfamiliar.
"You are used to driving, right? And now you are in the passenger's seat. Quite a different perspective, huh? Probably never looked at the surrounding when you drove."
"Yeah. I guess you are right."
"Just a different perspective, right?"
"Yeah ... " And I started to think. Ya everything is perspective. So much around us and we miss it in our day-to-day busyness. What was it I was reading this morning? Merlin's message to Arthur that nothing happens in random. Every event or occurrence has a message. A clue. We need but open our eyes to look and find that clue.
Soon we were at his home and before long we were off and on our way to the airport. A smooth exploratory ride and before we knew it we were there. Did the usual check in luggage etc - not as big a deal as I had anticipated. All went smooth.
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| Finally a moment with my lil angel after a brief walk and just before time to eat. |
Finally found my seat and was seated. Now - a moment to calm down and catch my breath. Then I remembered - sigh: didn't even kiss my baby good bye and no hug for my son and wife. Ahh these things are important, and I missed out AGAIN (just like the night he moved out).
Thinking to myself: "Syl, you really need to pay more attention to these things. They are the important things in life. Don't let opportunities to express how much someone means to you. Every moment - every opportunity to give is soooo important. Be who you want to be. Don't hold back. You are a warm person inside. It's time to let that warmth come forth and touch the lives of those around you - especially to those you hold so dear."
Soon - the plane started to move and we were on our way. And my thoughts continued. What is in store for me? What will the lessons be? It's all about "perspective" was what I got this morning. Maybe I will learn more about perspectives. It's about choice. Again, Merlin had said there are two choices - two pathways. I need to give this more thought. I have known this for a long time, but have I lived it? Do I feel that in my heart? Will this week bring me to a newer level of experiencing that "reality?" That of choice?
An uneventful flight - other than a few bumps along the way. I think quite a number of people are still on edge over the recent air tragedies. I must admit - I wondered too. Heard a gasp from one of the passengers nearby as we hit one of the air-pockets or whatever you call them, "What's happening? Are we okay?" I thought - "yeah we are ok .. however it turns out."
Finally we land. Made it in to the airport. Went thru the usual - again relatively fast. And once outside luggage collection, I saw lots of people getting their local sim card. Thought to myself (was earlier pondering whether I should or not) - perhaps it is a good idea to get one just for the week. It's only a couple of dollars. So proceeded to doing that. In the midst of the guy helping me put in the new sim card into my phone to activate it, the phone locked up and started screaming. He panicked - gave me the phone and said "what do we do?" I looked at the screen asking for a security code. I punched one. Failed. I punched in another failed. One more try and still failed. People were all getting uneasy and some even started to move away from the store/counter. I just said to him, "just give me my original and we will take this out." And so we did.
He loaded my new sim card into his phone and said he will help me activate that while I reassembled my own phone with my original sim card. But it didn't end there. The phone started screeching again. Loud piercing sound. You see - it had to just so happen that a day or two ago I activated my Mcafee added features on my phone. If it detects a change of sim - that may be indicative that your phone has been stolen or compromised. It will then lock the phone and require a password. But in the panic, all the numbers I could think of didn't work. Also because over the last few days I had been setting passwords and such for several accounts/things. And they all have various requirements. So now, even though the original card was put back into the phone it was still locked and continued to scream when I could not punch in the correct code.
Again, everyone panicked. The saes dude said "what do we do? What do we do?" I told him it is okay. I turned it off. He handed me the activated new sim card now taped to a piece of paper with instructions and said "here. activated. you use later." I thanked him and went off hurriedly after turning off my phone. Got out side. Met my ride. Hopped into the cab and was quickly off to the hotel. I booted up my notebook to help me de-code the phone. Managed to clear all that up and re-inserted the new sim. And now I realized. .....
Amidst all the commotion and panic - the guy never returned my change. The smallest denomination I had was a USD 50 note. The cost of the sim card? USD 4. I just paid $50 for a $4 sim card. And to top it all, even though it has now been loaded and the phone has accepted my code and reactivated - the card did not work!!!!
I though to myself, "OMG!! This is really the pits!!! That is a lot of money!!! This is gonna be eating away in me. I gotta stop thinking of it or it will ruin my entire week. Don't think of it, Syl. You gotta let it go. You are beginning to obsess over it. Let it go. It's happened. Just let it go."
I did think to ask the driver to turn around. Quick question to him - "how far is the hotel?" He struggled a little (to translate to English) and said "we drive about 45 minutes. hotel near river. is far." Sigh, I thought. "Even if I go back to the airport - no telling if the guy would admit and give me back my change. I have to get over this and let it go. Just let it go." But of course I struggled with the thoughts continuously coming back "such a bad start. how silly of you. why did this happen? ahh it's all ruined."
Again the ride seemed relatively short. Probably cos I had taken some time messing with the phone, getting the code, loading the sim and then testing it - I missed most of the ride. I looked around and saw how messy the driving condition here is. I was warned about this and I thought - "wow these folks are really wild. there seems to be chaos everywhere. cars and bikes honking weaving in and out and around each other - yet no accidents." The driver took a few calls - and it didn't sound too good (tho I did not understand a word he was saying since it was foreign too me). Soon, he pulled over outside some very run down building and said to me "you go Riverside?" I said, "Yes. Where are we?" thinking he had stopped to get something to someone or pass something resulting from his phone call. But instead he said to me, "we are here the hotel."
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| View from my balcony - opposite my "hotel" |
It looked fine when I viewed it over the internet before booking. How did it end up like that? What is going on? Everything is falling apart. This can't be the start of a great week! It can't be. It just can't be.
I felt like turning around and going home. Or perhaps just sit in and mediate the rest of the week. I don't understand what is happening. I feel so dejected.
And yet a small voice inside said, "wait. calm yourself down. it is going to be ok. don't choose to ruin this. Remember you asked to be open." You see earlier on the flight before landing, a thought had come into my head and I made a prayer - to have my eyes, heart and mind open to what ever will be. Be open to new experiences, meeting people, seeing things - let the universe unfold herself to me .. and let me learn what I have come so many miles to learn.
I got to my room - looked around. Messages had been coming in on my phone now. I dropped all my stuff. Sat in the balcony and was feverishly typing back replies, sending messages to people, sharing my "dis-hearted-ness." My thoughts continued to race "this is all wrong. I really wanna go home. I don't want this. Or I will sit in my room for the rest of my time here." And that little voice continued, " you will not. you will be fine. Just pause and rest a moment. You will be fine."
And THEN - thoughts of my reading for the day (and the past few days started coming back).
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Yesterday or day before. Merlin to Arthur:
"I wasn't rejoicing in your misfortune. I was rejoicing at your escapes. If you only knew it, these accidents of yours could have been much worse.."
Merlin: "But be sure that everything that befalls you, good or bad, is the result of some action in the past."
Arthur: "You are saying that these mishaps are like an echo. If I shouted yesterday and the echo waited until today to come back, I might have forgotten all about it."
(And for me - the echo is from my action of setting these security features just a day or two earlier. And it could have been a lot worse. The phone could have locked up permanently with my having made several attempts with incorrect codes. What would it be like if the phone became disabled and I had to wait to go home before I could actually re-activate it?)
"Nothing is random in the universe. Your past actions are not returning to punish you but to catch your attention. They are like clues.
And today, I read:
Arthur talking to "someone." There are two paths..
"But then he told me of a second path. The key to this path is the realization that heaven and hell are created by ourselves, that we are the ones who keep the cycle going. Because we believe in duality, there must be evil as the opposite of good, just as light must have shadow or it would not be light. Having seen this, we can make a choice."
"To renounce duality, to refuse both heaven and hell. Beyond the play of opposites, Merlin said, lies a timeless realm of pure light, pure Being, pure love. 'All this business of good and evil,' he said. 'Stop chasing your tail and walk away from it.'"
"Our will is free, and we can chain ourselves to the cycle of pleasure and pain forever. But we are equally free to walk away and never suffer again."
The final lesson from those pages were:
We cannot renounce the duality of good and evil as long as that is what you experience. A deeper experience, one that is beyond words must replace it. Wholeness and spirit are only words until they become real to your personally. Reality always mean experience; therefore the question is how to experience the realm of light that Merlin spoke of. "Be patient with yourself. The fading away of duality takes time," Merlin said. "And then unity will be born automatically."
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Sitting around, I looked around and thought - I have the choice. To accept what the entire universe has worked so diligently to present to me or to reject it completely. I have the choice to see good in all that is around me or to scream and shout expressing discontentment. I can fill myself with regrets and resentment - or I can be thankful for all that is right. A million things to be thankful for.
For one - that I have the opportunity to be here. Another, the plane landed safely with no untoward incident. Not to mention the time spent with my son and his family today. The many joys and blessings showered me in abundance. I choose peace. I choose joy.
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| Scene to the left of the hotel from my balcony |
I decided to take a shower, head down and explore the surrounding a bit. Got some food and stopped at the riverfront before heading back to the hotel. The scene on the riverfront at night - it is spectacular. And still the gentle breeze. Such peace and serenity.
My longest blog entry thus far. My day - today 2nd May 2015. My first time in Cambodia - among the many first times for today / this week / this journey.
Peace out.
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