Judging a book by its cover

Over a week ago I experimented on a day without judging.  The experiment was much easier to carry out than I had anticipated. So much so that it easily flowed into a second day. As liberating as it was to experience that, I must say that it seems harder to sustain than to carry it out. Especially if we still live (remain) in the world (as opposed to the world being in us).  I guess it is part of the human experience/journey.

Still, though it may not be an easy task (at least not for now), it doesn't mean we should give up that quest. We've all heard of the "Do not judge a book by its cover."  We may even say that to people we know from time to time.  Question is, is that just a good quote that we like to repeat but do not practice? That's the challenge.

Can we live up to what we say. In other words: Say what we mean, and mean what we say.  And if we do not do that, then in some way - aren't we

Good tip - NOT just for marriage.

being "hypocritical?" (Sorry - hope this doesn't
sound too mean - and more than that - doesn't
mean I am judging someone else.)

I remember when I was in Uni, a number of my professors kept expounding on the fact that we need to be "objective." (That means we should suspend individual judgment.) This was necessary both in Sociology and Psychology (or the Social and Behavioral Sciences).  Coming from a scientific perspective, I guess that was the goal - to be a non-participating observer and to record objectively what we encounter without mixing our emotions into the equation.  But after some time - when I could not wrap my head around that, I asked "how can we detach our feelings and individual interpretations/perceptions from what we see?" After all, we ALL look at the world through our own "bias" (without negative connotation) views colored by our individual experiences and values derived from whence we come.  Of course, as far as I can recall, no satisfactory answer was ever given.  And we just moved on and on and on until graduation and post graduation.  Each of us left to our own interpretation of events and conclusions as we saw fit.

A recent conversation (albeit short) with someone close to me got me thinking about this.  The statement was, "I don't trust that person. Did you see his fingernails. They are so long. I can't accept that." Quite unexpected - I thought. I've know this person for what seems like ages - and as I recall, this wasn't the character I remembered.  But people change, do they not? Or do we become the "seed" that was in us and we just unfold to who we ought to be over time?

Anyway, that also reminded me of others who have criticised people for the type of clothes they wear, the color of their hair or their hairstyles. The type of cars they drive or even if they choose to use public transport over owning their own vehicle.

I am not saying these people are wrong - and this is not a criticism of them or their statements or perceptions.  This is about my own journey and my own thoughts that are in the process of shaping me to be who I will become - but more importantly a reflection of who I AM right now - and what I am experiencing.  These are my thoughts to myself (shared with whoever is reading) but does not mean they are what I would advocate nor insist for others to follow and adhere to.

Just a reminder to my self - today, let me not judge.  Allow me to continue to open my mind (and heart) to others who may different from me.  To accept them as they are; to embrace their difference even. Everyone has his/her own untold story. We can look at person where they are now, but we may never know the extent of the journey through which they have travelled.  Even the most "cruel" person has his/her own pain.