Breastfeeding - A Quick Judgment

Yesterday I had a very interesting conversation with a friend I thought I would like to share here today.  The conversation centred around an issue raised by someone we both know.  The issue? It was about a lady who took a selfie apparently of herself breastfeeding (well obviously of herself since it is a selfie, right?)  But I have to admit, I didn’t get to see the picture since it was just dialogue with no inclusion of any photos.  Barring that, I was curious why there were these criticism of this lady for taking such a shot.

One of the reasons for the uproar apparently is because the act in itself is “insensitive.” It was suggested that the lady should have been considerate of all those mothers who are unable to breastfeed. “Don’t you think this would make them feel very sad – to be reminded that they cannot breastfeed?” (Although I am quoting this – it is actually a paraphrase .. no word for word as it is translated into English.)  My response? Really? This means one is being insensitive? If that is the reasoning, should we ban everyone (not just women) who post pictures of their babies after delivery? Parents, grandparents and the likes. They should be more sensitive to others, right? I mean think of all those who are not able to bear children for whatever reasons. What about those who loss their child at birth? Wouldn’t this cause such immense pain to them? And since it will result in pain in others – let’s not display pictures of our babies or celebrating their birthdays etc in public. Else, we would be showing the world how insensitive we are.

Another reason raised was that – this is a private act.  It should not be shown in public because it is inappropriate and I find it offensive. Others will find it offensive.  Again, Really? Is that good justification to velify another? Because I find their behaviour “offensive?” Who determines what is “appropriate” and what is not? Is your value any better than mine or that of another? You may say “a lot of people find it offensive.” And I may also say “a lot of people may also think it is perfectly natural.” And if we go by that method, should it be democratically decided? Let’s have a vote. If more people say it is not ok, then it is not ok? And if majority say it is ok, then it becomes ok?  Is it a fact that majority means it is “right?”  So how do we decide if it is okay or it is not? Perhaps we should start by asking ourselves why it is that we find certain things – certain behaviours by others objectionable. Are we just responding to social conditioning? It is wrong because it is wrong? Why? Because. It just is. There is no why. Or – because my dad says so, or my teacher says so, or my religion says so and on and on.  Perhaps that’s where we should begin to check our own values. Where do these values come from? Do they even make sense? Some rules may have made sense when they were established, but people evolve. Society changes. Perhaps some rules and regulations no longer apply. So if we are ourselves evolving – then perhaps, just perhaps it might behove us (and everyone else) to examine why we feel what we feel.

For me – the bottom line is, our actions should not be made with the intent to hurt another. But while we respect others, there is also a need to respect ourselves.  We are free (or should be) to celebrate our being. And what a beautiful celebration it is to be able to bear a child, to nurse the child – and how and why should this be offensive to another.  It is nature! Nature at its best in fact.

So, if I may invite us all to look ourselves in the mirror and start examining some, if not all, of what we feel is right and wrong. And challenge ourselves to examine these values – if they are useful for the betterment of humanity – for you and for me.  As Wayne Dyer puts it “In any situation where you can be right or be kind, choose to be kind. Always.”

Let’s not be so quick in our judgment of others.  My friend said (although he withdrew the statement later) that the lady must have been out for attention.  Just an attention seeking action.  Let’s refrain from making judgment on another because in all honesty – there is no way I can know what is in that person’s heart or mind.  Even if I may think I know you – but I can never know everything about you .. how you think, how you feel, and all that because I do not walk in your shoes. I have not gone through all that you have.  So – let’s work on “I will not judge you, and I ask that you please do not judge me either.”

Peace,
I AM Syl